Teenagers – Becoming a Young Adult
Teenagers – Becoming a young adult can be tricky
The teen years can be a very difficult time for some people. “Growing up” involves a lot of changes not only in how a young person sees themself but also in how they see and relate to the world around them.
With the care-free days of childhood behind them, the new teenager is expected to approach life with a more responsible outlook.
School changes…
The transition from primary/elementary school to junior high-school requires you to become more aware of timetables, schedules and deadlines. With more indepth homework projects and assignments, it is now necessary to plan your homework and study time carefully.
Make the most of time you have. You will find you now have less time for TV and games but if you plan your days well you should still be able to catch your favorite shows and stay up to date on your homework.
Most highschools including junior now give out pocket-sized timetables which show what class you have on a particular time and day. It makes sense to keep these safe and even copy them into a diary.
Try to do your homework on the day you are given it, even if your next class for that subject is a few days away. It is much easier to remember things you were taught on the same day than a few days later.
This site here has a lot of study guides and strategies which you may find helpful.
Many teenagers take part-time jobs to make money which is great, but try not to ignore your homework as a result. Get a job that doesn’t take up too much of your time, and practise good saving. There is not much point working three or more days a week after school just to blow the money on ice cream. Save your money for something really nice like a new pair of jeans or mp3 player. If you keep most of your money in a bank account you will be less likely to waste it than if you keep it all in cash.
Start reading grown-up books. It is important to read books about history, famous people and different places in the world. The more knowledge you gain now, the better prepared you will be when you need to start making choices about your career. It is still good to read novels (story books) because they keep your imagination active and usually have strong messages or life-lessons that you don’t find in non-fiction and reference books.
Here is a link to Teenreads.com, a site that promotes reading for teenagers. They have a list of books (and book reviews) suitable for teenagers. See which ones interest you then try your local library to see if they have them. Sometimes you can even find the book you like as an eBook online, and download it to your computer. This can be awesome but if you do then remember to save it onto a disc or cd so you don’t lose it if your computer dies. Remember to observe the copyright associated with any book you download though – some of them allow you to make a copy or print it out but not give a copy to your friends.
Dealing with Family and Relationships
A big part of becoming a young adult is learning to develop positive relationships with your family members and other grown-ups. This can be weird sometimes because grown-ups have usually forgotten (or choose to not remember..) what is was like for them when they were teenagers .
Try to be patient with them. If you are their first teenager, then it’s quite likely they are afraid to mess things up. If they seem to nag you a lot then try to see things from their point of view. They just want you to be successful and happy in your life. I never met a parent who wanted their teenager to be an unhappy failure – they really want the best for you but at the same time they want to see that you have matured emotionally as well as physically.
By showing them you can take responsibility for yourself then you will set them at ease, and they are more likely to get “off your back” about mundane things such as chores etc. If you like to go out with your friends but your parents always demand you be home by a certain time, then try saying something like, “Mom, I’d like to go to the mall until 6 o’clock to see my friends,” instead of “Mom, can I go to the mall for a while?” That way, she will know that you have a specific reason to go to the mall, and that you already intend to be home by six.
If you can show your parents that you are using reasoning in your thinking, then they are more likely to trust you to do what’s right. Parents usually don’t let their teenagers do things because they fear the teenager might make some bad decisions.
Building up trust will make them feel better about giving you more freedom.
Do not take advantage of their trust though. If you build up trust with a parent or adult then do something to break that trust, such as lie about where you are going or who you will be seeing, they will be more hesitant to trust you again in the future.
Remember that you are part of a family and that your choices also affect those around you. You might want to do a lot of cool stuff but sometimes you need to consider what is best for your family and not just yourself. Good friends will always understand that your family is more important than watching the latest movie together or hanging at the mall.
Try not to let things get you down. If you find your schoolwork is getting on top of you or you’re having issues with someone in your class, talk to one of your parents or even another adult about it: quite often there are many possible solutions to a problem and it just takes someone else to point you in the right direction.
If you get really stuck you can contact us here for advice. We promise confidentiality.
